I meander around the local cemetery most evenings. I read the gravestones as my dogs stop to sniff. I like graves, I always have. I can spend hours wandering amongst the stones. My all time favourite graveyard is Pere Le Chaise in Paris, a place one could spend days in and never get bored.

But I do have a problem with epitaphs…

‘Fell asleep’ – I want to scratch it out and write Died!

‘Passed away’ – again, they Died!

‘Gone but not forgotten’ – most often seen on long neglected graves.

‘Forever resting in peace’ – they’re not resting, they’re dead.

‘Reunited in heaven’ – maybe they didn’t want to be reunited and, let’s face it, there isn’t a heaven.

I’ve planned my funeral songs but never thought of a gravestone, never considered leaving a stone to decay for some future generation to read and ponder as they meander amongst the stones.

Maybe my stone will read…

Died on this day (date). Gone and soon forgotten. If there’s a hell she’s probably writhing in its deepest pits and loving every minute.



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